Module 5 Reflections

My interest in cyber psychology comes in the form of online dating. My husband and I met on online dating (OK Cupid) in 2011. My mother was the one who actually encouraged me to do online dating as she thought it helps you date slowly and make a lot of decisions before you even meet someone.

So for my husband and I (fingers crossed), online dating worked. Our best friends met on online dating too and got married last year. I don't think our relationship work because we met on online dating but it certainly did make it possible. It widened my chances of meeting people outside of my own world.

For me the most interesting thing about online dating is my husband is not someone really that I would ever have met or bumped into. I was an art student living in London partying, he is an introverted data research specialist traveling from America, we had almost nothing in common! Our culture was so different that for the most part we thought each other to be entirely alien. Something about online dating made it possible for us to know each other enough that we now love each other.

When I began to research whether online dating really does work it turns out no one has any idea. Dewy writes about the conflicting statistics that we get from dating websites and that a recent study from the University of Michigan shows that online dating leads to fewer committed relationships (Paul, 1). I often see this happening with my friends because with online dating it can either make you feel like their is hope in finding the one, because there are so many people to meet, or it can make you think, how do I know when this is the one and make you keep dating. I have a friend currently who after her divorce decided to go on 50 dates through an online dating website. No mention of wanting a relationship she just wants to date and be non-committal. I see that very often and I have a lot of 30 something friends who date a lot but never decide to have a relationship (yet).

According to Schulte a record number of women in the 30-40's are not getting married suggesting that is just not necessary anymore or is an old tradition. She goes on to argue that the there is more marriage in low-income families due for the need for financial stability.

I do think any software that helps people get together whether for a date or for a relationship is good. I do think people need to be wise about it, careful who they meet and not be overly naïve about information on peoples profile, Match.com will tell you straight out it’s a lie.

I don’t think online dating correlates to the decline in marriage and the increase in divorce but maybe social media as a whole does, such as the statistics about Facebook?

Is marriage declining but people are just having long term relationships instead?

Paul Aditi. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking. October 2014, 17(10): 664-667. doi:10.1089/cyber.2014.0302.

Schulte, Brigid. "I Do? No Thanks. The Economics behind America’s Marriage Decline." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 24 Sept. 2014. Web. 03 Aug. 2015.